Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
