someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
