You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
