yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
