i just google imaged poop.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
