my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
