Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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