just come out here and I will go home with you...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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