Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
