The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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