booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
