I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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