ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
