Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we made out on top of his cat.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
