There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think your dad took our porno
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
