i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
