he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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