it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
