i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
