hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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