hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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