3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
