And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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