she peed on how many people?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
