Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
