If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
