We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my shit smells like andre
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
