i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
