she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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