so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
