Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
