I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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