I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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