just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
