Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
