I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
