They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
