I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
