Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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