What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I did not marry a roomba.
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