Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
