Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
