If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
