ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
