oh god the rape fog is back!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
