I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
