check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
