remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So vagazzling was a success
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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