Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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