is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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