I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i now understand why vodka
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
